Monday, January 27, 202001/27/2020

Darwin Olympics: Ikea Staff Open Store to Find Fugitive Sleeping in the Bedding Department

. . . OK, but why is this such a trend?

Friday, January 24, 202001/24/2020

Darwin Olympics: Dude Steals Bag of Fast Food from Ex

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.

Thursday, January 23, 202001/23/2020

Darwin Olympics: Dude Forgets How Air Works While Hiding From Police

Here’s another stellar example of Darwinism at its finest.

Wednesday, January 22, 202001/22/2020

Darwin Olympics: Dude’s Fanny Pack Gets Left Behind During Theft . . . with His ID Still Inside

Dude’s wanted by the police . . . and the fashion police!

Tuesday, January 21, 202001/21/2020

Darwin Olympics: Bank Robber Forgets to Cut Eye-Holes in Pillowcase Mask

Dude totally forgot to cut holes in a pillowcase he was using as a mask during a bank robbery, causing him to remove said mask due to viability issues . . . (because, obviously)

Friday, January 17, 202001/17/2020

Darwin Olympics: Couple Learns Vigilantism Only Works in Movies

Two wrongs don’t make a right . . .

Thursday, January 16, 202001/16/2020

Darwin Olympics: Police Bust a Raging Party . . . Thrown by the Amish

RUMSPRINGAAAAAAA!!!!!

Wednesday, January 15, 202001/15/2020

Darwin Olympics: Yoga Instructor Totally Un-Zen When He Punches Movie-Goer for Using Cell Phone

Looks like the stereotype about Yoga instructors isn’t so real after all . . .

Tuesday, January 14, 202001/14/2020

Darwin Olympics: Tire Thief Calls 911 on Himself After Getting Trapped . . . by Tires

We’re sure this wasn’t the turn of events the 911 dispatcher was expecting when they received the emergency call for help . . .

Monday, January 13, 202001/13/2020

Darwin Olympics: Woman Forgets She’s Posing as FBI Agent and States CIA Affiliation

Woman learns to the hard way to remember her lies when committing felony . . . or, like, maybe just don’t commit felonies.