Screwy News January 4, 2017 

A guy in Wisconsin got drunk on New Year’s Eve and celebrated 2017 by running into the street and doing a BELLY FLOP onto the windshield of a cop car.  He was arrested.

Check out this Wall of Smog roll into Beijing… yikes!

https://twitter.com/china_chas/status/815769247104135170

Local man is out stealing packages! Have you seen this man? According to a police report, the theft occurred Dec. 28 around 1:50 p.m. The package, valued at $35, was supposed to be delivered that day to the victim’s home on Viola Ct. When the victim got home, the package wasn’t there, but tracking showed that it had been delivered. More info here! 

A Congressman’s Son Dabbed During His Swearing In Photo Op… House Speaker Paul Ryan took a bunch of photos with new members of Congress yesterday where they posed like they were being sworn in. One was a Congressman from Kansas named Roger Marshall . . . whose teenage son decided to DAB during the photo op. (Paul Ryan didn’t know what dabbing was, and thought he needed to sneeze. Then Congressman Marshall tweeted later on that he grounded him for it. ) https://twitter.com/RogerMarshallMD/status/816402331143118848

Man, 81, Cops Shuffleboard Rage Plea

SEPTEMBER 15–A dispute on a Florida shuffleboard court turned violent yesterday when an 81-year-old man allegedly punched a fellow pensioner and struck him with his shuffleboard cue, according to court records. The confrontation Wednesday afternoon occurred at the Pinellas Park Senior Center, which includes an open-air pavilion with 16 shuffleboard courts (as seen below).