Bad Dad Jokes Since Father’s Day is Coming Up
What better way to celebrate the dads and father figures in our lives than getting a head start on Father’s Day (6/21) with some of the best-worst, worst-best(?), bad dad jokes . . .
- I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
- Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.
- What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
- What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
- What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller.
- Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit? A ba-na-na-na.
- Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans!
- Why did the crab never share? Because he’s shellfish.
- You’re American when you go into the bathroom, and you’re American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you’re in there? European.
- What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1
- What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine.
- The rotation of earth really makes my day.
- Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
- Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.
- What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
- What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant
- What’s the best part about living in Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
- I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that’s just nuts
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese.
- What did the snail say when it hitched a ride on a turtles back? Weeeeeee!
- What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
- I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I ever saw!
- How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.
- If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?
- What do you call a lonely cheese? Provolone.
- What does an angry pepper do? It gets jalapeño your face.
- What does a zombie vegetarian eat? “GRRRAAAAAIIIINNNNS!”
- You know what the loudest pet you can get is? A trumpet.
Don’t forget, you still have until THIS Sunday (6/14) to get in on your chance to win $1,000 for Dad!
