If you’re looking to get your Halloween on with some scary movies, but . . . . let’s be real . . . you don’t like the OK-that’s-way-too-scary scary movies.
No worries, Jai has you covered with some films to help you fulfill your Spooky SZN needs while making sure you can still get up to relieve your bladder when it wakes you up at 3:00 AM without losing your chill.
In Jai’s totally biased and not-so-humble opinion, these are the . . .
*WAIT, before I get started, I acknowledge that horror films are my favorite genre, and what I find to be not-so-scary may still be scary for another. Watch at your own risk, and don’t underestimate the power of turning on the lights.
Thirteen Horror Movies for People Who Don’t Like Scary Movies:
“The Hunt” (2020) –Billed as an Action-Horror-Thriller, this film is more of a twisted dark comedy.
The IMDB storyline is listed as “Twelve strangers wake up in a clearing. They don’t know where they are, or how they got there. They don’t know they’ve been chosen – for a very specific purpose – The Hunt,” but things change up real quick at the top of the movie.
The cast is stacked, too, with names you know and names you don’t know but totally know their face . . . even though not everyone makes it through to the end of the movie. We’re talking Emma Roberts, Ike Barinholtz, Hilary Swank, Betty Gilpin, Glenn Howerton, Justin Hartley and more.
“The Hunt” was supposed to hit theaters September 27, 2019, but due to mass shootings in El Paso and Dayton in August, the film’s release date was pushed back to March 13, 2020. Following almost immediately were closures of theaters (let’s be real, the whole world shut down) due to COVID-19, so Universal made it available digitally on March 20.
This film is Rated R for strong bloody violence and language throughout.
“Ready or Not” (2020) – This Comedy-Horror-Mystery movie is brilliant in all it’s deranged quirkiness.
A bride’s beautiful wedding day turns into a night of hell when she marries into the Le Domas family, a richer than rich gaming dynasty.
Unbeknownst to the bride, her new in-laws are harboring a secret that puts her as the guest of honor for a wedding night ritual for Satan.
The movie is hilarious, with the great one liners from Samara Weaving (Grace, the bride) to other quirky mishaps and brilliantly delivered reactions.
This well written and even better cast film also stars Adam Brody as the alcoholic brother who would rather not be involved in things but goes along with it because, well, he kind of has to . . . and Andie MacDowell as the mother who was someone who also married into the gaming family but managed to survive her wedding night.
This film is Rated R for violence, bloody images, language throughout, and some drug use.
“This Is The End: (2013) – This disaster horror comedy is STACKED with names in the cast . . . and the cameos are lit!
The film follows a group of celebrity friends stuck at James Franco’s house after different events pretty much destroy Los Angeles, California (and the world, because . . . y’know . . . it’s the apocalypse and all).
The celebrity friends playing hilariously characterized versions of themselves include: Seth Rogen (in his directorial debut), Jay Baruchel, the aforementioned James Franco, Jonah Hill, Craig Robinson, and Danny McBride.
Celebrities making cameos as fictionalized versions of themselves include: Emma Watson, Michael Cera, Mindy Kaling, Rihanna, Paul Rudd, Channing Tatum, Kevin Hart, Aziz Ansari, and the Backstreet Boys!
Full disclosure: People HATED this movie. If you’re not a fan of most of the movies much of the cast tend to do together, chances are you might not like this one. That said . . I really dig it! There are so many funny reaction shots and quick remarks that you might miss if you’re still laughing at something else that just happened.
This film is Rated R for crude and sexual content throughout, brief graphic nudity, pervasive language, drug use and some violence.
“Idle Hands” (1999) – This film takes the saying, “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop,” and gives it a teen-rom-com twist only films of the late ‘90s and early aughts were truly capable of.
Teen slacker Anton (played by Devon Sawa) suffers quite the inconvenience when his right hand becomes possessed by a murderous demon.
Unfortunately, before Anton realizes the homicidal tendencies of his right hand, it takes out his two best friends (played by Seth Green and Elden Henson). The BFF’s return as undead-dead side-kicks to Anton as he works to put an end to his possessed hand before a Supernatural Hunter (played by Vivica A. Fox) takes him out.
Oh, and all while trying to win over his dream-crush (obviously played by Jessica Alba).
This film is Rated R for horror violence and gore, pervasive teen drug use, language and sexuality.
“Club Dread” (2004) – If you’re a fan of the Broken Lizard – the filmmaking team behind “Super Troopers,” “Beerfest,” and “Super Troopers 2” – then this film might not be for you . . . because, it’s by and starring them and people typically cast in their other projects.
The storyline is about people on a supes bougie paradise-island resort, but the fun in the sun gets interrupted by a serial killer who’s idea of vacation leans to the homicidal tendencies.
It’s up to the resort’s staff to stop all the violence . . . or, like, at least hide it.
This film is Rated R for violence/gore, sexual content, language and drug use.
“Shaun of the Dead” (2004) – It’s “Dawn of the Dead” with a comedic twist done brilliantly with British comedy duo Simon Pegg and Nick Frost (“The World’s End,” “Hot Fuzz,” “Paul”).
This movie is a bloody good one (and no I don’t just mean “bloody” in the British sense of the word) about a London man who has just had his world shattered after being dumped, but then the world actually does start coming to an end as zombies show up around the city.
There are some seriously gratuitous killings in this film, but it’s all more of the hahahaaa feeling than the aaaahhhhhhhh feeling.
Also, if you get down with the dry wit that is British humor, you will likely enjoy this one.
This film is Rated R for zombie violence/gore and language.
“Little Evil” (2017) – This Netflix film had one of the big ingredients of a super creepy horror film – a child that may be possessed or possible just psychotic with homicidal tendencies, but more than likely is straight up the Antichrist.
Adam Scott is Adam Scott in all his perfection has he brings to post of his characters, the dry wit and sarcastic responses he does so well one can’t help but wonder if that’s legitimately how he is IRL . . . and it is PERFECT for this film.
The film follows a guy (played by Adam Scott) who has just married the woman of his dreams (played by Evangeline Lily), only to discover her son is Stage-5 CREEPY!!
It’s a satirical take on the typical paranormal films featuring possessed kids . . . but this kid won’t be haunting your dreams after you’ve finished getting your movie-watching on with this one.
This film is rated TV-MA for mild sex & nudity (referenced, not shown), moderate violence & gore, and profanity.
“Scout’s Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse” (2015) – If the opening of this film alone doesn’t show you that this is a zombie “horror” film to NOT be scared of because there’s way too much comedy involved, then I don’t know what will do it.
Yes, there are zombies. Yes, there is gore. Yes, there are a couple of those pop-out-at-you moments – but you really don’t even notice it because you’re likely still laughing at something else that just happened.
The movie is kind of like “Superbad” meets “Zombieland,” in the best way possible.
The story follows three high school sophomore friends who are doing their last Scout’s camp-out (though only two of them know it’s the last one) when they decide to ditch out to go to a Seniors-Only party, but then a zombie outbreak totally starts overtaking their town.
This film is Rated R for zombie violence and gore, sexual material, graphic nudity, and language throughout.
“Happy Death Day” (2017) and “Happy Death Day 2U” (2019) – Yep . . . it’s a double down type of deal with this one because the way the second flick picks up from the first one is seamless, but it then it takes a major left turn.
“Happy Death Day” is like “Groundhog Day” scary movie style when college student Tree has to keep reliving the same day over and over again . . . oh, and it’s the day she gets murdered.
Stuck in a never-ending loop, a snotty sorority girl must find her killer to break the cycle . . . though she does become a better person throughout the whole thing and meets cute-sweet boy Carter in the process.
This is a slasher movie that clearly doesn’t take itself too seriously while it gives us the killer-esque qualities horror films are made of, and dousing it with a hint of “Mean Girls” and a lot of fun.
The sequel, “Happy Death Day 2U” picks up exactly where the first film left off, but from another student’s point of view, Ryan (Carter’s roommate) . . . and it is the same DAY!
The second film explains why Tree kept reliving the day she died over and over again with the realization that a quantum reactor experiment set off some weird series of power outages which created a time-loop and all this other scientific stuff you don’t have to have a degree in to enjoy the movie.
With every trial and error in reliving the same day over and over again in an effort to close the loop, alternate realities start to take hold, proving to be scarier for Tree than repeatedly dying.
“Happy Death Day” is Rated PG-13 for violence/terror, crude sexual content, language, some drug material and partial nudity.
“Happy Death Day 2U” is Rated PG-13 for violence, language, sexual material and thematic elements.
“Zombieland” (2009) and “Zombieland: Double Tap” (2019) – Oh look, another two-for-one deal.
A hodgepodge group find each other when zombies have overtaken the world.
In Zombieland, there are no names . . . only where you’re from. Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) is a guy from Ohio trying to make his way back to the Buckeye state to see if his family is still alive . . . Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) is a dude just trying to find a Twinkie . . . and Wichita (Emma Stone) and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin) are sisters just trying to get to an amusement park on the other side of the country.
The fierce-four hit the road on a cross-country road trip, taking out zombies (and Bill Murray) along the way.
The follow up movie, released a decade later, shows the fierce four continuing their journey in a world overrun by zombies as the navigate the growing pains and settle into the boredom of this survival-based-formed family with a ton of snark.
Rosario Dawson, Luke Wilson, and Zoey Deutch also join he cast.
“Zombieland” is Rated R for horror violence/gore and language.
“Zombieland: Double Tap” is rated R for bloody violence, language throughout, some drug and sexual content.
“The Cabin in the Woods” (2011) – When asked what type of monster/killer/demon creature they wanted in this film . . . clearly the answer was “YES!”
Here’s a film that doesn’t just pick out one horror shtick and push forward with it, but takes a turn at all of them – and then some . . . and with some serious comedic flare.
Co-written by Joss Whedon (“The Avengers,” “Avengers: Age of Ultron,” the “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” TV series – to name a few) gives us some curve balls to a point that I honestly don’t know how to talk about it without spoiling the fun.
This movie is not just a Top Ten Horror Movies for People Who Don’t Like Horror Movies feature, but for real on my personal Top Ten Favorite Films of All Time list.
I can tell you it’s about five friends who travel for a stay at a secluded cabin in the woods . . . and that Chris Hemsworth and Dr. Jackson Avery – errmm . . . I mean Jesse Williams are two of those friends.
Some of the funniest moments are the reaction shots and other background happenings. Pay attention to EVERYTHING.
This film is Rated R for strong bloody horror violence and gore, language, drug use and some sexuality/nudity.
Happy Watching!!
(IMDB / Wikipedia / YouTube)
